She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
of course. lets lasso hookers.
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I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
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ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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