we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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