1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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