can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
