If i come over, it means nothing
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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