I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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