It's a beautiful day for a hangover
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize