If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize