I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
