Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Can Purell be used as lube?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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