so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
