Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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