4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
