just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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