That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
