He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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