we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
