yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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