adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
