i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
