if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize