It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
