How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
