dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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