Non-Jews are for practice
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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