I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
