yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
