My first STD was from a foam party
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
