Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
She announced her abortion via fbk
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
