I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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