How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
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When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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