walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
