Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
