am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
