How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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