so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Randomize
