On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
my penis made a compromise with my morals
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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