well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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