I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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