i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
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