You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think your dad took our porno
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
