Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
