So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
