my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
