My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He passed out mid-signature
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
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