would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Alive.
So much puke
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
