why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
