Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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