idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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