She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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