found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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