can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
not ubering you a puppy
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
