Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
