tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
