Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
