So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
