hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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