he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
