you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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