she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
